connecting

the dinner thing for josh's school (seminary) was specifically designed for the wives to attend with, and they even had two pastor's wives like answering questions after dinner and stuff about their experiences over the years as pastor's wives (to give us wisdoms. or some such thing).

so, like, the past year i've been trying to connect with other pastor's wives, finding books or blogs out there, just trying to feel out who these women are and what they do and how their life is. when i went to church previously, i never really met the pastor's wife too often, and they seemed the quiet types who are behind the scenes. which is the opposite of me most of the hours of the day.

most of the pastors wife blogs are like mommy blogs, which is fine, because most women out there blogging are mommy blogs. the other blogs are kinda sparsely updated and not very transparent. the books i've read have been REALLY bad recommendations from friends or christian bookstore owners, and i have gotten just a tad bit pissed off reading them because they are just blathering nonsense with cliche out-of-context verses. yah that's pretty harsh but the 1987 cartoon clipart on every other page did not help their case either (the book was written in 2005!!!). i could really lay into what a time-waster that one was, but maybe it was written out of love and trying to encourage someone out there and it may work for someone so i'll shut up about it.
so, i really should look up some good book recommendations. or give up on it entirely.

anyway i thought this dinner thing sounded cool (i mean besides the fact that i got to eat dinner with like 10 other canadians, oo, a counter-cultural experience! kidding.) because it was like learnin' from wiser pastor's wife n'stuff. well the older lady shared her story and it started off with "i told my husband i wouldn't marry him if he became a pastor" (cuz of some bad experience in her past or something) and then she went on to say that he eventually became a pastor and that she eventually became "okay with it". and i was like uhh... that was.. inspiring?

the second lady was younger, and was REALLY extroverted and talked a lot but i'm not sure about what. she mostly talked about being a mom and raising her kids which are now teenagers. also, the majority of their time as pastors was youth pastor, which is not the same. at. all.

so, i couldn't relate to the first lady. i was excited for josh that he wanted to have a cool profession like a pastor, that he knew what he wanted to do with his life, i'm pretty much on board for whatever youth ministry/kids stuff wise because i've alwasy loved that, helpin' teens, serving the community, and i worked in that area before i got together with josh. so, yah. we could've skipped the whole "i hate pastors" and "now i'm just passive" conversation. i like pastors. we need people like that in the world. i also like being involved in a church, because they do a lot of good things. if the church you go to isn't doing good things and is hurting people, and the pastor guy is a jerk who just wants your money, then LEAVE. For godssake LEEEAVE and find some nice people who care about you. GEEZ

back to the dinner thing -- i would also never brag to a room full of impressionable young pastors wives (the other gals in the room seemed younger than me) that i "told my husband when he was first starting out preaching that he was really quite bad at it, i criticized his preaching a lot" and seem proud of that? i kind of had a what? have you never had a profession before where you were first starting out? when i came home and told my husband about the dumb nursing student mistakes i made was he critical and like oh wow you really suck? no, he wasnt.

second lady, also couldn't relate too. she too had the "my husband has the hardest job in the world and i just have to deal with it" vibe going on. first of alls, second lady, your husband does not have the hardest job in the world. you could say that about all kinds of jobs that have demanding hours and take a lot of energy and whatever. doctors, engineers, politics, etc. also, you don't have to put on a happy face and act nice when people are being rude to you just because you're the pastor's wife. that's like super bad advice too.

well, i'm out of time because of working crazy hours this week, so i'll end here, sorry for the discombobulated post, but it's probably good it is ending. :)