hotpastorswife

oh hi, i'm alive, barely.

i work all day, overtimes, and then i can home for brief moments, only to be on to the next thing. summertime in our corner of the NW is "this event!!" and "this event!!" and "this activity!" because we try to cram in everything fun and outdoorsy or travel-worthy until the undending grey drizzles happens again and spoils all our plans. This rain and cold could come on at anytime and decide to stay, so it seems to me like a mad rush of people trying to get in their fun and happiness like it was their last day alive on this earth. A constant bucket list, if you will, is running through all our brains.

this past week has been especially bizzare, a steady heat wave in Seattle. It broke all the records and i'm sure the environmentalists were like "here it is!! this is what we told you would happen! this is all your fault for not recycling that can or hugging that tree! you used too much hairspray!!" but anyway, no one has air conditioning in this part of the world. unless you're wal mart or something. so we were all screwed. old people died, children cried themsleves into sickness, and i did not sleep for three nights in a row because my house was 100 degrees on the inside. LITERALLY. NOT JOKING. The inside thermometer said 100. degrees. People got in fights at grocery stores over fans. eastern washington was like "you guys are whiney pansies."

anyway, after tomorrow (going to a friend's wedding.... who's getting married on a battleship. yes. you heard right. a BATTLESHIP.) i am through with the frenzy of summertime. i am not a "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die" type of individual. yes, i want to be with my friends and family and live life to the fullest, but i want a quiet life, an undivided heart, a happy home where i can actually stay home. the more overtime and stress piled on at work, the more dreams i have at night where i am a mommy with babies and making spaghetti in the kitchen and picking lettuce out of the garden. my biological clock is like "WHAT THE FRACK ARE YOU DOING STOP WORKING WITH OLD SICK PEOPLE ME WANT CUTE BABYYY" and my brain is like "shut up i'm trying to start an IV in a particular thin wiry vein!" And so it goes. And so it will always be, I suppose, even whence the said children if and when arrive, there will still be other things to do and think of, to divide the spirit and mind, to pull and tear, whether it's a job (god i hope not), a sick relative, church ministry.

i find solace and meditate on

Be still, and know that I am God;


I will be exalted among the nations,


I will be exalted in the earth.