made it

i worked 5 out of 5 shifts this week
they were supposed to be 8 hour, but ended up being longer than that.
which i hated, but whatever, that's the kind of profession i'm in.

still sick like pregnant sick most of the time. i'm eating all normal foods now though, and just forcing them down my throat. at this point i'm like meh, what sticks sticks and what doesn't, dosen't. just try againnnn with a new foooood.

i bore myself talking about this.

in other news, we had the first little ultrasound thing this week - baby no longer looks like a blob, but a real baby, and baby was very modest and we didn't get a look at the gender. my coworkers in the ultrasound department are anxious to have an ultrasound fiesta on my abdomen, which makes me laugh. (we don't usually get to look at anything cute on the ultrasound screens at work trust me).

oh and someone already told me that i'm going against God's Natural Plan and Will For My Life by wanting to find out the gender via an ultrasound screen before the baby is born. so feel free to leave comments like that on my blog also, cuz i'd just love to hear more about that /sarcasm. no seriously, stuff like that really falls on deaf ears when it's told me i think - instead of me being like ORLY? TELL me MORE holy spiritual person! I'm like, uh, well, you know I've already crossed that bridge by like, being a transplant nurse right, i mean, you know, like harvesting organs from dead people and putting them into other alive people. i'm guessing you have a problem with things like this too, yes? ORLY? thought so.

also, you need to have a little humor in your life. i mean, i've had a few "it's a girl!" pre-birth and then baby comes out and they're like.. "Oh, it's a boy!" so see, there, you can still be surprised.

but i supposed this is the beginning of what is to come, me living in the real world and also Religion World. most people i know are very reasonable sorts, but there are those out there (who i never know personally but think they know me) who will love to tell me that I'm raising my child all wrong, because they are wearing blue shoes on a Tuesday, or picking their nose on a Friday - I never really know what to say to these types. I guess I'm like my dad in this way that I just like to say something other ridiculous and almost off-topic that is likely to offend, for example "i transplant organs for a living, are you an organ donor?" or something stupid. probably not the right approach.

more illness

so, in another attempt at team building at work, we all subjected ourselves to the same nasty cold/flu virus. at the same time. because we are that much of a team.

sometimes i think maybe we take this whole 'month of team building' thing too far.

anywho, every. single. person. was out sick on the same day. from our desk clerk to aides to RNs... so like, anyone who was trained to do anything or knew anyone. which is kind of a bad thing. ive never seen that happen, like everyone out on the same day, at any unit i've worked at before. the next day, me and LV2.0 made it in and at least tried to catch up on paperwork and the 110,000 phone messages, but by 2pm we were delirious with fever. we had drained an entire bottle of cloraseptic spray, later learning the directions say DO NOT SWALLOW. then we spent five minutes trying to figure out how to not swallow chloraspetic spray. in this process we swallowed more chloraseptic spray. we also decided luden's cough drops are superior to ricola in staving off nausea, but ricola actually helps suppress coughing.

a few of our docs are sick too, but i dunno what is up with doctors. it takes like a black plague or something to keep them away from work. they just keep going. they never call in sick. it's...weird.

our boss was gone for the day when we came back, so we didn't really know who had been filling in for us or if they had just rescheduled patients or what. doctors are really nonspecific about who helped them out the day before, like "some girl with brown hair" or "i think hes an xray tech on the night shift". come to find out it'd been some temps, and that they didn't really do a lot of anything while we were gone. except either hide or steal our good lotion. most likely steal. jerks.

here's something you should know about nurses and the nurses station and a nice bottle of lotion: that bottle of lotion belongs to the nurses. the hospital didn't provide it- those nurses chipped in and bought a bottle. that brand specifically was decided by committee, declared to be the best lotion, so you know it's the best lotion like, ever. and why would you take the lotion that people use all the time to soothe their aching hands from washing them 200 times a shift. because you're a mean, mean person.

now i've faced the lotion lift caper before, and it's now common knowledge that anything left on the clinic counters overnight the ukranian cleaning crew considers fair game. which is why we created The Bogey Lotion.
The Bogey Lotion is the 6 year old vaseline lotion that smells like grandmas* and nobody likes. There's also a similar Dove bogey lotion in the most accessible desk drawer. this lotion is kind of meh, like we would still probably use it as a second choice but if it was stolen it wouldn't be the end of the world. but OUR lotion, our lotion is kept in the secure cabinet! next to boring batteries! which is hard to get to (especially if you're preggers) because you have to lean over the printer to even open and reach into said cabinet!

anyway as i was saying, by 2 pm we were both really, really sick. and 2 people doing the job of 5 was not going well anyway. luckily the afternoon clinic was rescheduled because in the morning we still had our sanity and enough foresight to do so. then we took turns taking a nap while one person covered the desk. as i laid on my side (i remember the days when i could sleep on my back, i miss that) in a corner of one of the doc's offices, on the floor, on a pillow from an exam room, with a blanket from the blanket warmer, i was like really feeling like i wanted to die. but i was like, no, i have to finish drinking this water bottle. then finish sucking on this cough drop, and maybe then the burning sore throat will get better, and my stomach will stop turning, and i can stand up again, or i can die. whichever happens first. then i thought, wait, there's probably MRSA on this floor. so if i do survive, i'll probably have mrsa on my hands. so i need to wash those when i get up. but then i won't have good lotion to put on my hands, so maybe i should just give up and die and succumb to the virus.
then the next thing i remember is my cell phone alarm ringing wakeupppppp. the rest of the shift is a blur, but i do remember stumbling to the car josh picked me up in, so i must've made it through.

i'm back at home today, fever and my asthma preventing any heroics i would try in regards to go back into work again. or from like, standing. and breathing sometimes. i doubt anyone else from my team made it back either, so you know what that means... bogey lotion is probably gone, too.


*see teen girl squad reference Issue 3 - the thrift store.

work pretty much sucked all my creativity and social life out.

overtimeovertimeovertime

this week at work is pretty out of control. blah.
overtime. blah.
not enough time to do things that need to be done. blah.


i want to stay home and bake bread in the oven. i feel fall coming on, too. which is exciting, because i love change, but also sad, because summer was so short.

clogging with the train?

and then i think, well, i could have taken up a worse hobby.

fatigue

i hate friday nights im so tired and burnt out from work.

blah

sunday

Meh, this week was long. I start extra early on my shift tomorrow. I'm staying up late anyway. The weekend was too short!

It's too sunny outside to blog much. Seattle rarely sees sunshine, so gotta get it while you can!

sun

it's been a total bizzare heat wave here lately. i dont recall ever feeling heat like this in May but maybe it's just been a few years.

if i keep working crazy hours like this i shall never have time to blog again. GUH!

easter

This week was busy what with passover and then our church responsibilities like good friday and easter service. blah.

today was fun though, it felt like it had been a long time since i went to an easter service and dressed up (maybe i have but i don't remember anything recent) - i had fun easter egg hunting with the kids and teaching them about Jesus' resurrection.

service was harder, i was playing some more difficult music and i knew the songs but the other musicians hadn't really practiced so, that sucked.

anyway i'm exhausted, and i'm glad this week is over.

melancholy

it seems like all these past days in january, february and march have gone by quickly. and at times miserably.

ah well, if any set amount of time is to go by too fast i suppose it is the miserable and cold months you'd like to see go first.

behind

I feel so behind on things. Studying for the CV boards, returning a thinkgeek item, cleaning up the kitchen, putting away clothes, uploading pictures... it's a weird feeling. It's a bunch of little things, a combination of things I HAVE to do and things that can be done later, thing I really want to do and things I don't want to, but altogether it seems overwhelming for some reason. Doesn't help that I feel fuzzy-headed and fatigued - fighting off another winter virus. Ugh.

It's like sometimes I get stuck - I don't know where to start, and begin to feel disorganized and unfocused. It seems like I am still the hyperactive unfocused 12-year old that can't sit still and yet can't focus that energy any one particular place.

But I can do it. I already started on the kitchen. Next is clothes. After that, maybe even some vacuuming. Then I'll start on studying. It's going to be a good day.

iworklots

uhhh i worked all week.

last night was fun - a new girl came to bible study. she's cool i gave her a ride here and back and got to know her a little.

we had pasta.

but really all else i did all week was work. i am sooo burnt. toast. friiied.

we have company coming in this weekend. wheeeeeeeeeee.

i want to throw a wii party.

barf!

I don't know what this whole sudden stomach flu/barf-o-rama is about or where it came from but I hope it goes away soon.

Blaah.

So I'm sipping sprite and taking phone calls at work, shunned away from patient care.

I did have to start a few IVs, which I suited up for in mask, etc. Patients don't like to see people wearing masks around them.

My hubby takes good care of me. He bought me sprite and he let me watch chick flicks yesterday when I was down and out. Of course those flicks were in between football games.

P.S. Snow is pretty but since this city REFUSES TO BUY SNOW PLOWS we can't really go anywhere.

hotpastorswife

New name, new start!

Almost a new year...


Thanksgiving was good. We went to the farm. We played a lot of settlers of catan. We played a lot of card games like hand and foot.

My baby cousin turned 1 year old. She is so cute. :)

It was also my friend's birthday, and we also spent a lot of time visiting friends and family and not sleeping at all. I'm actually surprised I didn't get really sick, usually I do when I'm sleep deprived for that many days.

This last weekend was much more relaxing. I went to see a movie, made some blankets that are going to be presents for Christmas... that sorta thing.

Right now I'm watching Chuck and Big Bang Theory on TV. :)

mondaymonday

Oh my goodness it's Monday.

Things are going pretty good at work.

Yesterday was actually a pretty fun day. Worship time was a little rough for me - I didn't realize how hard it would be to lead worship without Keith leading. I don't think it really hit us and it was just kind of like, lack-luster, like we're still stunned or something.

So, anyway, someone else preached, our director of missions for the association of churches, which was also nice because Josh spent all week working on the funeral stuff and the sermon for that.

We went out to lunch at a seafood restaraunt and I realize why I looooove living in the pacific northwest!! Fresh seafood!! Yah!!! And people know how to prepare here!! Yah!!

Well I'm off to spend more time with my hubby. Hopefully no more people calling our house 24/7 - I get him to myself!

the pie is gone

Sometimes it's the little things that get you when someone is gone unexpectedly.

In the midst of my cleaning frenziness, I felt compelled to clean out the fridge, 'cause it's gross full of yucky old food in rubbermaid tubs I forget to take to work.

The pie was bad. A pie Keith had left in there probably two weeks ago - it's gone bad. He was the only one who ate out of it anyway since it's pecan pie and Josh nor I would ever eat pecan pie. And I threw it away.

His happy little mojito drinks were in there, too. His cashews are still on the table and the pretzels he picked out of the nut jar are still in the bowl waiting for someone to eat the less-worthy salty snack.

I'm sad the pie went bad. I'll be sad when the pretzels are gone.

exhausted

I am just so exhausted. We haven't really gotten much sleep.

I worry about Josh, not sleeping, a lot of stress and his phone rings non-stop with questions from family members, church members, friends of Keith... I hate ringing phones anyway - thank goodness for the invention of the ringtone so at least it's halfway pleasant. and more... planning a funeral, deciding/mediating with family where things go and to whom and what to sell... it's like craziness to have to think about someone's STUFF? Like that's really not important... I don't think anyway. I hate thinking about stuff here on earth. Meaningless, the person left it behind- so should we.

So now Josh is sick, and also has this weird eye thing going on that is painful and I am slightly mildly concerned about. That's enough for me to send him to the eye doctor tomorrow! The eye doctor on the floor above my office is really nice guy who always helps us nurses when our glasses break or we lose a screw (ha ha screw loose) or something. Hopefully he'll take care of my Josh.

I have just about had it with hearing about heart problems today (obviously that is my whole world at work)- I was talking to one of the cardiologists I work with and just like explaining how I am kicking myself that someone I ate and hung out with almost every day this year had heart problems that I never picked up on. He even complained of palpitations once, I told him to get on the monitor but of course he never would do that - and I replay that conversation over and over again and how I should've pushed harder for him to do that. Why would he - he could bike 150 miles and never have a problem. His exercise tolerance was 10 x mine. It's silly for me to blame myself, but I kept kicking myself all day for it.

I also thought about how I not only miss him as a part of our family that he became, but how we would disagree over statin therapy and lowering cholesterol over margaritas and burgers (margaritas or beer due to the lack of milkshakes at stupid downtown Bob's) every Tuesday for two months in a row, and I would tell him what a dippie hippie chiropractor he was for not appreciating low LDL (that's "Bad" cholesterol) and decreased inflammation within the arteries that statins provide, and at the very least he should appreciate niacin, I mean come on, it's a vitamin. He would come back with nutrition stories and more natural science that I don't know a lot about. Definitely two different schools of medicine we came from, and that's why I liked discussing with him all about everything.

I keep telling myself, sh+++! That cholesterol really did clog him up and sh_t I don't care about our disagreements anymore and I can't F'ing believe he is gone. Could this sudden onset of cussing words in my thoughts be an anger stage or something? What is wrong with me lately?!

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

saturday

oh dear, is saturday over already? sigh.

fondue

Mmm fondue was delicious. Shrimp, chicken and steak with lots of cute little dipping sauces.

And bing cherries.

Anyway, it was pretty fun last night. Peoples came over. We ate. We have a new friend he came too, yay new friends.

We're watching this video series thing on the early church and archeology/history stuff, it's interesting at times.

We played the new Mario @ the Olympic Games 2008 Wii game. It's a really fun game.

I slept really well last night.

I still feel sleep deprived. My thoughts, like this post, don't flow very well together. I'm keeping Josh up at night probably, too. Poor guy. I'm annoying. Doing crossword puzzles until like 2 AM trying to bore myself to sleep.

sunnymusic

i am convinced any music that has a beat, that sounds annoying indoors, can sound really cool and nice outdoors. but only if it's sunny.

so, for me to like a song, i have to be outside, in the sun, and i'll be like yah, best song ever!

if i'm inside, and its' raining outside - worst song ever.