im a jerk

NuKru Presents...

Spencer #9 | MySpace Video

i love my little cousin and what him and his freshman in college friends do.

we grew up listening and dancing to hip hop lol

for those of you who don't know, ima jerk.

birthday more

josh didn't have to preach this morning (that wouldve been bad since we got in so late) but he did have to be there earlier than me. i was supposed to get up and go, but i slept in accidentally because the cell phone alarm was on but the cell phone volume was off. Guhh.

that gave me time to get the rest of his birthday stuff ready. presents, favorite foods and snacks.

we hung out and played his new video games (his brother got him Prince of Persia II which is pretty fun so far) and we went and saw "The Invention of Lying" which was really lame. I thought it was supposed to be laugh out loud funny, but it was more subtle oh look i'm a british guy who thinks i'm funny but i'm the only one who thinks i'm funny oh ah ha ha, boring dialogue, more boring.

i guess if i went into it expecting more of a indie somber life-is-depressing film, it would've been fine. but i wanted to laugh!

luckily it was a matinee.

but we're home now and it's nice and it's fall outside and cozy inside the house.

laminin and black holes

The last two weeks in Bible study we have watched two videos by Louie Giglio because we are in-between Bible study materials. (Our next study is a John Piper study which I am really looking forward to. But the books haven't come in the mail yet. Lame, publishers, lame!!)

The first video was called "Indescribable" and he talked a lot about space and showed pictures of different galaxies and amazing awesome universe things to show how big the universe is. This was one of those "whoa, weird" moments for me because I had JUST been perusing great space photos the DAY BEFORE! Which you can see on my October 6, 2009 blog entry. I had literally wasted like 3 hours just reading about galaxies and novas and been in awe of God's universe. All by myself. Without some preacher guy I don't know pointing it out to me. Anyway, yes, the next day our Bible study was on the indescribable beauty and awe and expanse of the universe and how even bigger and amazing God is. So keep in mind I was in awe and had a "wow God!" moment before the last five minutes of the video came on.

Which you can watch the last bit here by the way if you want to.



He describes how an image of the center of the Whirlpool galaxy popped out at him from 31 million light years away (okay I'm paraphrasing really bad you should probably watch the clip) and alas! alack! it is in the shape of a cross! His jaw dropped open! He fell off his chair!

Meanwhile, I am staring at our plasma TV displaying the image quite nicely (because the video leaves it up there for quite awhile) and I do NOT see what he is talking about. Like, I really honestly don't see it. And I say that to the three other people next to me, and Josh tells me to go put my glasses on. But that's not really what I was saying. I SEE the "X" that made the impression on the speaker, I SEE the white, bright, kind of sideways blobby type cross and can understand why someone who had cross on the mind would say, "hey! that's sort of cross looking!"... but I don't SEE like Giglio sees.

I was really tracking for the most part up until this point, like emotionally tracking with him - wow, awesome, God is the Creator - the Maker- the infinity - amazing! It was like God had been directing my thoughts even before this video, maybe to prepare me to be more in awe of Him, because of the all things I had read and looked at about space before the video. Sure, the background keyboard sensationalist muzac to stir emotion in the crowd was super annoying. The mere fact that I was tolerating the speaker to this point was actually quite phenomenal because I usually find the gelled-hair on TV with their own worship band on tour types annoying and certainly not enough to invest emotionally into what they are saying. But it was a good talk. Until... until the blobby white and black shadow cross thing. Which to me did not look like a cross at all, I even tried to imagine what he must be seeing, but I could not see it.

And then after I opened my mouth and said something, which I tend to blurt stuff out without thinking, I was met with three pairs of eyes that all seemed to say, "Well, we see it. What's wrong with you."

So I was a little miffed and tried to forget about it, but it still bothered me the rest of the week. Why didn't I see it? Am I that cynical? Am I what some of those prophet writer guys in the Bible referred to as stone heads and blind eyes and stuff? Am I supposed to be seeing Jesus symbols in my everyday life to be reminded of God?

And then there was the second week's video. Which kind of set me over the edge. Here's a clip of the last few minutes:



Now first of all some positive points about this video:

I enjoyed it up until the last eight minutes.

He spends most of the video talking about planets that have been discovered and then lines them up in order for HUGENESS and it was so awesome! I mean like our sun? In our solar system? Is like a tiny speck compared to these planets. How insignificant I felt when I saw those on the projector screen... and yet God knows me and made me. This would have been enough for me. Giglio could've (and should've I would argue) ended his talk right there. How great is our God, and yet he sent his only Son to die for us on the cross (not a shadowy blobby thing in space camera vision but the actual Roman crucifixion cross). I do love that he reads from Colossians and mentions the supremacy of Christ, etc. Why not preach about that? Why not read more scripture?

But no. Noooo. He has to end with his "left hook" and go off on a laminin tangent. You can read more about laminin in the links below, but basically it's the protein or "glue" that holds our cells together. Colassians 1:15-17 is mentioned to make his point - Laminin looks like a cross (in scientific diagrams), Jesus' symbol is the cross, laminin holds life together, Jesus holds life together ("and in Him all things hold together"). Therefore laminin = Jesus.

This time I "SEE" it. Yup that's a cross alright:



But I immediately see something else that I see often in my field of work:



In my mind, laminin does not equal Jesus symbol. Yet again my mind screamed "sensationalism! this is wrong!" but I held my tongue. He had completely lost my interest at this point, mentally and emotionally, and the piano/strings keyboard patch was grating on my ears. I sipped some tea and shoved a few jalapeno pepper jelly tartlets in my mouth to calm down. At this point I'm thinking to myself, this guy really believes in what he is saying, he really sees God in these little things. He sees illustrations to share Jesus, genuinely, with young people because he cares for them and their souls and wants them to know God cares for them, they aren't insignificant, God knows every hair on their head and every tiny cellular structure. This is important for people to hear. How could I be "irked" at this guy for wanting to share God's love and desire for us to be in a true relationship with Him.

How could I...

Well I am. Later I went on the internets to look up laminin to make sure Giglio's molecular biologist friend wasn't pulling my leg. I was surprised to find this video was pretty popular on the internet awhile back as an inbox forward and link to your friend type thing. There were even Christian bloggers who have blogged about it before me.

This guy's blog post I ran across made me think in a less cynical light. He certainly sounds a lot smarter than me. I do not have a lot of background to go on for Bible stuffs... I never went to Bible college. My daily devotion time is just reading the Bible and praying, no study guides or smart books. Everything I've learned about theology and doctrine is from kind of half-ass Baptist sunday school classes and really good far and few in-between theology books (which I do not think I absorb as much as I should from and have to read over and over to understand) and more recently, my really awesome husband who knows stuff, and also lots of podcasts from preachers and professors. I also observed a lot apologetic type discussions on the RI, when it wasn't about "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"... and those friends are probably the opinions I would go to for this kind of thing. Which is mostly why I am posting this blog (I'm talking to you James Rhea and Miss Cassie) hoping to gain insight.

So this guy, whoever he is because I didn't bother to read the rest of his blog, poses some good questions about the laminin talk:

So, does this disqualify the teaching as irrelevant or inaccurate?

I would suggest, “no.” Why? Because a spiritual experience is always esoteric and interpretative. Crafting a connection is part of the gifting that God seems to give to communicators (like Giglio), and instead of criticizing its accuracy, we ought to be applauding its ability to move people, bring people to a sense of awe, and wonder.

I was with a surgeon when I saw Giglio give this talk, and she said that she of course knew about laminin but never put the two together the way Giglio did. She felt it was an “interesting” interpretation, and yet was still moved and touched by the commentary our biology was seemingly making on the realities of our existence. Whether or not Jesus’ cross was actually that shape was irrelevant. The point stands on its own without the need to clutter it with historical criticism. And that’s okay.

and....

Is it then reasonable for someone to be skeptical, even apathetic towards these kinds of endeavors?

Sure. “This is a free country” as they say. But through these talks I suggest that the best way to be human is not to deny ourselves the search for significance, casting it aside as some sort of evolutionary fluke, but rather embrace our nomadic wandering through the universe as something to fill our souls with meaning. What cannot be denied is the experience, and I suggest that phenomenology is evidence that humanity desires to be anchored in something meaningful and moving. And that desire, that drive, is never going away.

Eh, maybe not so great answers to these questions. I wish I could come up with better answers but I do not know how to form my thoughts further on the subject. I guess our personal experiences with God are all different, much different, and what drives our desire to seek God are different. And we have different spiritual gifts and see things different ways.

In my life, the more I learn about science and the human physiology (which is something I study for hours everyday), the further I am drawn towards a relationship with God and the firmer my belief in God cements. My faith grows, but not because I see little cross shaped cells and see SIGNS and WONDERS in the universe in a magical, sensational way. It is because I see we are fearfully and intricately and wonderfully made. It is because I see that the universe is indescribably ginormous and I am completely stupid and should be less then an amoeba on God's scale, but he knows me and cares for me, even the stupid stuff, and cares for the little birds and probably the little amoebas in the swamp even though Jesus didn't happen to mention those things in His talks. I am but a vapor. We cannot even grasp the basic mysteries of God's creation.

So, is it wrong for this guy Giglio to go off on his signs and wonders kick and preach about Jesus symbols? Honestly, I don't know. Probably not. God used tons of signs and wonders with the Israelites and they forgot about Him like, what, two months later? If Mr. Giglio sees Jesus in small things, and is reminded of God in cell structures, how different is that from me seeing God's hand in tiny details of my life like when I say, "God provided this flour jar when I needed one!" when one appears on the free table at work and I take it home. To someone else that is a happy coincidence. To me that week it was an encouragement, a reminder that God provides and cares for even the tiniest thing in my life.

Grace. God gives us grace, especially our feeble attempts to understand that which we will never be able to understand, and describe what we will never be able to describe. Grace is important in the Christian life. Josh tells me a lot that Christianity is like looking at a diamond, everyone has a different point of view on it but it is still the same beautiful diamond. Okay I am totally butchering his metaphor and you will have to ask him. It was something about when he talks about different denominations. Wow I am really butchering it. Okay I'll stop now.

I did run across a lot of people on the internets who easily turned Giglio's laminin talk into "Jesus is magic!" and totally shredded his point- like, wow! Laminin looks like that thing from Greek mythology! The Greek gods are really true! Long live Zeus! and just totally made fun of him and stuff...which is why I think he should've just stopped his talk before the Laminin thing. It's a weak point to end on, I think. God gave us scripture for a reason.

cuz thats my funday

i was disappointed that we had zero kids in sunday school today but it turned out to be okay because it gave me the opportunity to get to know someone who is new at church who never talks very much.
song time went okay, i played the drums for all the songs instead of switching back and forth to the piano, but our guitarist does not do so well still (ya two years later) by himself. sooo, i dunno, maybe that is a hopeless cause. we have three. THREE. . . . practices a week. the singers probably need like, one. i need like ,a half of one. but three still isnt enough for him to remember or play right. so i dont know... frustrating.

after church Tyler invited us over for lunch and fed us meat. i dont really know what it was, i guess roast? -- but it was just like big chunks of meat. on some bread. and i dont eat meat very often, or like at all usually, unless its tiny chunks of chicken in my tacos, so i was full for like eternity. i'm still full. i could live for like another couple of days without eating. my stomach is like WHAT did you DO to me.
and i had water. so, that was an interesting meal. i guess it really is true that bachelor's just cook meat for meals. he hunts so maybe he shot the...cow..wait maybe it wasnt cow. hmmm.

a busy day because after that josh and i and a friend drove down to seattle which was fun. we had double date time which i had not done in a long time... we went out to dinner. but i was still full. so that was kind of pointless except for the social aspect. we also sat for a long time talking in a coffee shop, which is a very seattle thing to do. in a seattle's best coffeeshop no less. and walked around marymoore park...and looked at the fall colors. which are not really as awesome here as new england, which made me miss new england, so i was sad for a few minutes, but then i found a giant windmill in the park for no apparent reason which made me forget my troubles like a bridge over waters.

then my friend loaded up my mac with a bunch of software, for free, which is awesome... i haven't installed it all yet but i will. oh, i will. and then i will have the creative suite. and open office. and a bunch of other awesome stuff. and just you wait. ....for i don't know what. but just you wait.

i also saw blue ray for the first time. i don't know if just don't watch HDTV (i thought i did though?) or if blueray is better than HD or what, but it was pretty cool. batman was jumping out at me. i still have only seen the first five minutes of the movie "Batman the dark knight" and that is as far as i will ever get probably. everyone was like "it's so awesome!!" so then i expect it to be awesome in the first five minutes and then i'm like....meh...

i had way too much coffee today.

the drive home josh drove and i was drifting in and out of sleep even though five iron frenzy was cranked pretty loud. car rides put me to sleep.

instant netflix

we dont have cable or anything anymores, but josh put instant netflix on the xbox.

basically, any movie netflix has available on "instant" i can watch, well, instantly - high def if available- on our tv! No mail, no waiting, no hollywood video store. Sweet.

this was especially helpful when i was sick. i found some pretty sweet chick flicks to watch.

+ He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (with Ms. Tatou - 2002)
+ Love in the Afternoon (with Ms. Hepburn - 1957)
+ My Man Godfrey (1936)
+ You Can't Take It With You (1938)
+ His Girl Friday (1940) **a fave!

yes josh did have to put up with some...

canasta

I found the coolest church ladies ever.

They play cards! Hand and foot, canasta, stuff like that.

I used to play cards with my aunts and cousins all the time, up until 2 AM sometimes - although I only stayed til like 9:30 last night, but I was only planning on staying until 8 at the latest. They were so much fun.

I was the youngest, second youngest was 55 years old, most in their 60s and 70s I think...

It's funny, but I loved it. I loved hanging out and hearing stories about where they lived, what they've done... it was fun.

And they're wicked competitive, which reminds me of my extended family, who I miss being near to. Sometimes it's not so bad right now to be farther away, 'cause we can drive down on holidays and things - but sometimes I wonder what I miss out on. And my friends have the cutest little girls, and everytime I see them they're bigger and bigger and I wish I was there every weekend to spoil those girls. And I know when, if we have a baby I would wish I was closer to everyone. But that's what cars are for. And ferries, etc.

In any event, we're up here, and I have really cool car lady friends now, and they only live down the street which I was ecstatic about.

Last night me and Josh and Keith went to see the action flick, "Wanted". Bang bang, shoot shoot. It was basically a comic book, put into a movie form. I think it worked well I could've done without the young adult angsty narration by the main character like every five seconds... but without a lot of plot and just a whole lot of action, what else were they to do with the extra time?

I'm going to the park today 'cause it's nice out. Bringing a book. Peace out world, it's Saturday my one day off!

bestmoviefriends

If flixster says it - it must be true!

We got three free movie rentals from hollywood video for moving into the neighborhood - that was pretty sweet. We rented:

The Bucket List (I fell asleep halfway through but the part I watched was good)

Charlie Wilson's War (Slept through the entire thing)

Semi-Pro (I stayed awake!)

I don't usually sleep through movies but I haven't been feeling so well, some sort of cold/flu virus probably, but it's setting off my asthma so that is no good. Just call me wheezy and strap me to the nebulizer. I don't mind the whole asthma routine so much anymore, it's old hat, but I do mind missing work, and not sleeping. I haven't slept for like two days. Wheeeeeee. Let's watch more Jon and Kate plus 8 re-runs, wheeee.


Oh did I tell you I watched Get Smart on Friday? SO fuNNY.


The man is coming to fix our dryer, again, today. AGAIN. NEW dryer. Only able to do two loads of laundry in it. Both times it dun broke. Ghetto best buy dryer!!

indy

the new indiana jones movie is like indiana jones meets the x files meets the borg collective hive mind meets the highlander.

i liked the movie though, although i had to force myself to disconnect from not just some reality, but all. i think it would've been better if i had watched an indiana jones movie recently, but i don't think i have seen one since the mid 90s.

josh made chicken on the bbq. i love the bbq. i would hug it - but it's really hot and that would hurt.

i set up the badminton court. we have a backyard. for badminton. josh played with me cuz i forced him to. he didn't even know how to play - so badminton deprived in his youth, 'tis sad.

i like playing badminton but not setting up the net. stupid net.

oh and we don't really have like a backyard backyard. its more like someone dumped gravel on the side of our house and weeds grew through it. oh joy. thanks a lot person-who-owned-the-house-before-we-bought-it!

wait, what?

And it's Friday all ready, how did that happen? Where did those in between days go?

It seriously has been crazy at work. I know there's a learning curve with a new position, but dang. And a lot of my chronic patients are all getting sick. Er, more sick. Acutely sick. Blah.

We finally got our washer and dryer and television (Josh's birthday present from long ago that never happened and then now he gets one. Yay tv.). They were delivered and mostly set up, but realized our washer and dryer aren't really fitting in our washer dryer space, even though they are pretty small. So, whatevs, we'll figure something out. We have to figure out how to set those up though, we have no idea. So, still no laundry going on here.

Me and my friend, who is a girl, are going to see a chick flick. I have a friend who is a girl, who I do stuff with. And she lives locally.

That's a new thing for me.

The movie is called 27 Dresses - it's for sure to be hideous.

Mmmmm packing.




Kidding. Packing stinks, you'd think more would fit in those cardboard boxes!


I really liked the movie, "Enchanted". It was fun. :-)

I want to see the new Will Smith movie.

pre anesthesia screening

Please tell all of my patients not to see this movie.

sitting house

So, we're house-sitting/dog-sitting again. Well Josh is dog-sitting, I don't touch the dog, look at the dog - yah, I pretty much ignore the dog. I mean, I let it outside once 'cause it was whining. The dog hair is making me sneeze all night long.

This house is rather large, the houses we housesit at are larger, expensive homes with expensive things inside - I guess people with small homes and inexpensive things don't need people to housesit for them.

This weekend has been pretty low-key on purpose. Last week we were still in Oklahoma, next weekend we'll be at The Farm for Thanksgiving so that is going to be a full four-day weekend that I am totally looking forward to.

Friday night was fun 'cause Josh was finally home from the conference work thing so we rented some movies: "License to Wed", "The Queen" and "Paris, Je T'aime". We watched License to Wed and it was pretty funny, on Saturday we stayed home and watched "The Queen." Well okay I tried to watch the Paris movie but man, I just kept falling asleep. People talking in French quietly with awkward stares at each other, well, that just is so soothing and sleepy.

After I watched The Queen I was just like, so on the queen's side man, I mean like, I don't know a lot about Britain n'stuff, but she's the queen, The Queen, so, I don't see why people were givin' her such a hard time, man, you know, she should be givin' them a hard time - like - off with their heads. Yah. The Queen is cool.

This morning at church I taught Sunday School as usual, and now for the first time my class is mostly 3-6th graders. Which is excellent, because now we can all play the same games and learn the same Bible stories and I don't have to worry about knocking over any preschoolers and kindergartners that may have slipped underfoot(another lady volunteered to teach them).

Our classroom is all finished, with a huge sea-life mural on each side, and the far wall is chalkboard paint that we can use chalk on and it just comes off! Imagine! Chalk! Drawing on the wall! Not getting in trouble for drawing on the wall!

The kids were drunk with freedom. There's like six inches of chalk dust on the floor, haha.

finally sun

It's finally sunny again. It was nice weather *sun* for a few days around the fourth of july, and since then, YES A WHOLE MONTH, it's been raining and very dark and miserasble. This is very strange for this time of year. Usually July is when we finally start to see the sun and can boast about how nice it is to live here.

Wish I could say I went out in the sun all day, but no, I talked to patients on the phone.

After work Josh and I went for a nice long walk around the neighborhood. Such a beautiful time of year, the sunshine and temperature is perfect. I love the northwest - this time of year. heh.

We went and saw "No Reservations" with friends tonight. Man, a movie about food. Yahhhh. Okay it wasn't about food, but it had people making food. Mmm.

fantastic four

Nothing interesting happened this week until I went and saw Fantastic Four last night.

Oh wait. Make that NOTHING interesting happened this week.

the sequel

We won two fandango movie tickets, and when I get to feeling better I want to go see Oceans 13. I saw Oceans 11 and liked it - I saw Oceans 12 a few weeks ago and it didn't even make any sense to me, but still I want to see the sequel. I don't know why. I just do.

I'm not much of a sequel person. I think I get really excited about something but it only lasts long enough for one movie. After that I just get really bored. For example, Spiderman 2. Boooring. Didn't even see Spiderman 3.

Pirates 2. The movie was good, but the main characters, so bored with. By Pirates 3 I was totally over it. I'm all like, okay, yah, pirates, wenches, ah-huh, yah. And I was really hoping that squid-face guy would not be in the third one. But noooo, he has to be like in every scene. Yuck.

Call of Duty - good video game. Call of Duty 2, meh. Right now Josh is playing Call of Duty 3 on Nintendo Wii- we didn't even buy it, it was GIVEN to us. That's just about says it all when someone gives you a fifty dollar video game and is like, please, take it.

Maybe I just don't like the sequels that I have higher expectations of. Maybe I only like movies when I have low expectations, such as Oceans 13, or Rush Hour 3, or Shrek the Third. Those are also heavy on the funnies. I like comedies.

Summer is a good time for movies. It seems like every single one of them is a sequel - the new Harry Potter I'll probably see, and maybe Evan Almighty which is a sequel to Bruce Almighty. He build an ark, and it has that lady from Gilmore Girls. I like her. Oh and speaking of low expectations, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Anything could be better than the first one, but a silver surfer? Really? That's a villain? What's he gonna be, like whoa dude, check out my silver pinky ring, righteous! Let's catch that wave!

Let's see what other "three" movies... The Bourne Ultimatum - yah, I guess that series isn't so bad because you know it's going to be a guy going around spying and shooting.

Night at the Museum

Night at the Museum is an awesome movie. Me and Josh and a friend saw it tonight and I highly recommend it. It is funny and adventurous. Best of all it is a kid's movie that everyone can enjoy, but I think especially kids, and that's how kids movies should be. It's great to see a movie that gets kids excited about history in a fun way.

The snow is still here and it's very icy, bad for driving. Oh yah, and I totally don't know how to walk on ice. I'm surprised my tailbone is still intact.

No plans for the weekend, just really would like to spend a weekend at home doing nothing.